Closure

Grab life by the ball.

My contract as a full time teacher at Power Language Training expired a year after it was officially signed, October 27^th 2013. I will be leaving Hangzhou, China in one week. It’s a very surreal feeling. I guess it’s not common to sell your car, cancel your phone contract, and leave a comfortable life.  Granted I was a bartender, so lets not over exaggerate and imply that I had an ideal life. I wasn’t unhappy in any way, but bartending was a temporary situation. I loved it and am so thankful for all I learned, but I wouldn't let myself make it a career just because it was comfortable. Living abroad was something I had always wanted to do.

Growing up I watched as my brother and sister both studied abroad and lived in various parts of the world. I was blessed with the opportunity to travel a lot as a young adult. I think also the internal struggles I face with Orange County were all factors that pushed me to want to get out. I thought going to Northern California for College would suffice, but any of you who know me well know that that did not pan out as planned. Moving to China was the result of all these factors. As difficult as it can be to make that leap I was always well aware that the bubble of Southern California was a surreal existence, and that I wanted to experience more. The world is so much bigger than our surroundings.

Cheers to self growth.

I don't want to make it sound as if this past year in China has changed me into an all knowing, insightful or better person in any way. My day-to-day struggles have most likely been the norm. I’m not in a third world country volunteering… I’m teaching English in the fastest growing nation in the world. I’m in no way a saint for moving here (though I know that’s what you were all thinking).

I will miss my fruit guy and his son the most.

But to be quite honest; I am really proud of myself. I know that I’ve grown here. I know that this experience will prove to be invaluable to my future. I know that if I can do this, there isn’t much I can’t do. Well that's an exaggeration. But I definitely have more confidence in myself. This past year has been so challenging and so rewarding in so many ways, and I am so happy for that. And I know that it was only a year… I didn't spend seven years in Tibet like Brad Pitt. But you can learn a lot about yourself in a year.

A good friend of mine and I were reminiscing the other day on my time here coming to an end. She asked me how I felt about my experience. There is no other way for me to describe this year besides “grateful”. I think she was surprised to hear that I was grateful for all that has happened this year… For those here that witnessed the heartbreak I went through when a relationship ended and I learned of his infidelity, that was not the adjective they were expecting. But I wouldn't change anything that has happened to me for the world.

I couldn't have asked for better friends
 to share this time with.

My time here, as frustrating, difficult, inconvenient and challenging as it has been has also been the biggest test for me. And I’m happy to say that I feel as if I’ve come out on top. For every awful experience here I have had a beautiful one. The experiences and friendships I’ve made here are unlike any other. I wouldn't trade the heartbreak I felt here for anything in the world. I’m happy I went through it. I’m happy I am a stronger person for having been through all I did.

Again, I haven’t been living in Syria. Life here isn’t horrific. But it is different and it is challenging, because it isn’t the norm. Living in a different culture will always have its challenges, and I can say from experience; the cultural differences in Hangzhou can’t be explained. I’m not sure you can even experience them all in a month or two. And I'm sure there are still plenty of experiences I've missed. It’s a different world. But it’s such a gratifying experience to adapt. I miss the conveniences of home all the time! I miss having friends and family close when I’m struggling or having a bad day.  But I know now that I’m pretty strong, and that there aren't many obstacles that I can't overcome.

Margaret Wardrop: The best roommate I have ever had.
You're my Mike Wazowski.

Big life changes create a great deal of self-reflection. As someone who has a LOT of feeling and loves to talk about feelings, this is something I’m grateful for. Introspection is a very important component of growth, and I think it’s something we put aside when we become comfortable. I value the uncertainty of my life at this moment because it pushes me to question the life I’m living. I’m not bored nor do I have it all figured out… And I’m happy for this adventure even if it means I have no idea where I want to go or what I want to do. I figure that stuff will all just fall into place…(fingers crossed).